Quote: I guess I'm just going to have to see a great deal of consistency and enthusiasm from him before I can totally recommit myself to him emotionally because I'm still quite hurt and wary whenever I think about the past. Do you sense this from your H?
I feel that H and I both use the "hurts of the past" to avoid moving forward. We both had the responsibility to keep the sexuality and intimacy in the relationship going and we both failed miserably. It has been hard to try to reclaim his affection, as if he is the only one to feel "wronged" in the marriage. He did not marry a cold and unresponsive woman; on the contrary I was warm, open and sensual. For the past year the dynamic has been me making all the changes and my feeling "punished." This has only perpetuated our fused stance together, and it wasn't until reading SSM and PM that I am now ready to push ahead for something better. I don't think you should wait to totally commit to H...there will always be times that he will hurt you and disappoint you... I know that you are feeling vulnerable, but I think instead you should commit to yourself and stand strong in what you feel you need from him, without perpetuating the distance. Easier said than done. Journey---who wonders if we can tap into our fun selves again
