Quote: I'm not certain of how your dynamics played out but the drama of your situation definitely lit a fire under your tail.
It wasn't until my H "emotionally divorced" me that my eyes opened up. For 10 yrs I rejected his sexual needs as immature, inconsiderate, unnecessary, etc...I just did not get it. I didn't understand why we couldn't do the "nice family thing" without the sex. It was only when he pulled away his affection/love and even the negative fighting ( in other words, all emotion) that I woke up. I realized how much I missed him and began seing him through a different lens...I "saw" all the things he did for the family, how attractive he was, etc., and I wanted to reconnect. I did not push the limits of the marriage out of maliciousness...I had a lot of faulty perceptions of what love is in a marriage, and I have a tendency to hold onto hurts and withdraw as well as take things out on him. One thing I would love to say to the wives of the HDM out there is as much as I have contributed to the pain in my marriage, the one person I really hurt was myself. Desire really is a state of mind, and I really do believe it's in everyone's grasp. Journey-- who has shed her LD self, and is declaring herself HD
