No not abusive. YOu are very insightful.

The thing is now that we stopped , I am not sure how to initiate again. I don't know wether to just come on to him or what.

THe good thing I guess is he has never(to my knowledge) lost his desire for me. He can always just get it up in a secong if I come on to him. He has even said, at times during our separation he tried not to have sex, but couldn't help himself. He said, when he is near me he just starts to think about