Thanks MOJO. I didn't take it away because he won't come home. I would love for him to be home. I would love for him to verbally commit to the M. I decided to stop because he was sometimes mean to me the following day. I kinda think that is a defense mechanism. They say hurt people, hurt people. Any thoughts?
Quote: I decided to stop because he was sometimes mean to me the following day. I kinda think that is a defense mechanism. They say hurt people, hurt people. Any thoughts?
I guess it depends on what you mean by "mean"? If it was something abusive, I would say you probably made the right call. If it was just something mean-spirited than maybe you would be better off addressing it in some other way than stopping the sex if you want him to believe that you don't want to be in a SSM again. Tell him you think he's being overly-defensive and immature if he's obviously trying to hurt your feelings. Maybe he's testing you, trying to get you to withhold sex because he wants to feel comfortable with his decision to leave you for that reason.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
The thing is now that we stopped , I am not sure how to initiate again. I don't know wether to just come on to him or what.
THe good thing I guess is he has never(to my knowledge) lost his desire for me. He can always just get it up in a secong if I come on to him. He has even said, at times during our separation he tried not to have sex, but couldn't help himself. He said, when he is near me he just starts to think about
