Integrity and the mating ritual

[MJontheMend]

I decided to stop because he was sometimes mean to me the following day. I kinda think that is a defense mechanism. They say hurt people, hurt people. Any thoughts?

I guess it depends on what you mean by "mean"? If it was something abusive, I would say you probably made the right call. If it was just something mean-spirited than maybe you would be better off addressing it in some other way than stopping the sex if you want him to believe that you don't want to be in a SSM again. Tell him you think he's being overly-defensive and immature if he's obviously trying to hurt your feelings. Maybe he's testing you, trying to get you to withhold sex because he wants to feel comfortable with his decision to leave you for that reason.