Quote: Maybe I should just tell him that every time he turns me down or otherwise shows a lack of desire for me I feel less and less like I'm his wife. This is the truth and he can choose how to deal with it.
That sounds like an excellent start. Excellent topic, BTW! If I were you, I'd spend some time making sure he knows exactly what it will mean if you feel less and less like his wife. IOW, what will he experience as a result of that? It sounds to me like your Integrity issue here is around your H not only not turning you down, but also stepping up to the plate to initiate at least some of the time. Do I have that right? If so, you might think about making it a crucible issue - hand him the responsibility for initiating, and let him know in no uncertain terms that you expect him to initiate 'x' times per week. You will not nag him about it, but you will not be quietly accepting if he doesn't do it, even if you don't say anything. This should force him into a crucible, if I understand the process at all. Either that, or by his inaction he will be telling you volumes...
