Integrity and the mating ritual

[MJontheMend]

I started developing this topic in a couple posts on EO's thread and I am starting this thread to avoid complete hijacking.

Here is my thought for the day.(I can only have thoughts since any hope for action is out of town with my H.) I feel like a large component of my high drive is due to the fact that for me sex is the only important "mating ritual". I am not very interested in romantic gestures like flowers, rings or mushy cards. I never fantasized my wedding growing up or got very excited about his and her monogrammed towels. I like it when my H says "I love you" but it doesn't mean much to me if he's not interested in me as a sexual partner.

Sex is very important to me. I don't like casual sex because I can only have fantastic sex with someone with whom I feel "mated". For me a sexless marriage is an oxymoron. I would have no sense of being married or "mated" to a man who didn't desire me sexually. Every time my H turns me down due to lack of desire or chooses porn over me it's as if he's erasing a line from my wedding vows. So, how do I proceed with integrity? Telling my H that I need to have sex 2x a week to be satisfied and asking him to initiate doesn't really speak to my integrity issue. Maybe I should just tell him that every time he turns me down or otherwise shows a lack of desire for me I feel less and less like I'm his wife. This is the truth and he can choose how to deal with it.