So sorry that you are having these feelings today. (ahem, TODAY) I have to be honest and tell you that I do not see the "obviousness" of his second thoughts. I am sorry if I missed something...though I did read your post twice!
You have to remember that each and every day from here on out is NOT going to be like the day he kissed your hand and told you that he wanted to spend the next 25 years with you. BUT he did say those words and you have to remember that too! And I think I read somewhere in your post that he said, "I am were I want to be" or something to that affect.
I do see your point about his, "that's not the intent" comment. And I have to hand it to you for not coming unglued and asking him if his "intent" was to make you feel insecure or maybe just his "intent" to look like an ass? But you didn't take the bait. Good for you!
Ahhhh, that's why you are a better DBer than me
And as far as his comment about "doing what's right", well, I understand this kind of makes you feel like runner-up in a beauty contest. But you are looking at that comment from your perspective. I think that your H puts a lot of stock in "doing what's right". I think that in saying that he is trying to impress you. I mean, afterall, he has to stand in awe (and some envy) in the face of what you have accomplished. I think maybe he's looking for a little credit in the morals department.
I also heard these words from my H. It felt like I just stepped into a lukewarm bath...blah.
With regard to him going to confession, well, it's probably something that he will have to work himself up to. But I think that you are right, it's an important step....but one that he has to take by himself.
My H has been home for some time now and he still hasn't put his clothes away. Now, I could obsess about this til the cows come home and read all sorts of stuff into it but I decided to believe that it's just plain old laziness on his part. Instead, I choose to look at other things he does like, fixing things around the house, making plans for the future, talking about "us", and taking me on unplanned, spur-of-the-moment vacation weekends.
The signs that your H is staying and commiting will come in terms of what he sees as important and be explained from HIS perspective not yours. I guess our jobs (and hopefully our H's) is to learn how to interpret eachother's signs.
