Gang, I need some help and insights here....H is waffling....I've felt it the last couple of days...If someone who has made it through this can share some thoughts on how to best navigate these trecherous moments, I am in desperate need.

So, here's what's going on: H has just pulled back a little, which someone told me to expect here, I was some what apprehensive when he didn't go to confession Sat., that probably doesnt sound like much to most folks, but to H that is a very significant thing, and I knew that the fact that he was adamant about going on Friday and by Saturday didn't do it meant he was waffling. it's almost like it's in response to all the weird stuff that's happened lately....I swear it is like the devil's work!
H got up early this AM, said he was sick, I thought it was the middle of the night but realized it was 5 am....I got up at 6, just as H was coming in with my coffee. I've been increasingly anxious....just from the "vibes" I pick up from H....I told H I was anxious, that I'm afraid he will go back to OW...h said "that's not the intent"...not no I won't, not don't worry, just "that's not the intent"; I told him that I feel like he's still calling her....he said he didn't call her this AM...which confirms that he has been calling her... , As we were going to do chores I told him that I know that it can never be truely over as long as there is contact, and that there will always be contact as long as they work in the same place, and that she will never let go as long as he does call her, etc. H said that he believes it can be over while they are in the same workplace, that contact at work is now at the "how you doing level", that he's only in this office 1 day per week, and why did I think he was hoping to change jobs?....
He said he thought being on vacation for a while was going to help a lot....
AT one point I told him I wouldnt hold him if he didn't want to be here....he said he has told her he will never leave, that he could never leave our home, and that he was going to "do what's right" and that she is "moving on with things" (of course, maybe she's finally putting DR into action? ) I told him I hoped that was what he wanted, and my mind is kind of confused here, he said something about didnt' I think doing the right thing was important, and I said of course, but I hoped what was right included wanting to be in our home and with me....don't remember what he said...
H made the comment that "you sure turned the tables and made the choices hard". I asked what he meant, and he said "I believed you didnt care so I would just find someone who did and go there, and it didn't work out that way"....
Later I told him I sensed that he was still angry with me, and I wanted him to know that if that was accurate, I understood why he would be. He said he wasnt angry with me, but with some of the choices he has to make now. I told him I had truely always loved him, but readily admitted that I had done a poor job of showing him, he said he did know I'd always loved him. I also told him he is an enigma to me of sorts, because I know he can't stand intrusiveness, smothering and "cutesyness", that I can pretty easily become smothering, and that when I have tried to give him his space and freedom in the way I thought he wanted it, that he interpreted it as not caring. he agreed that he cant stand being "smothered" and the "bubbly stuff" wears on his nerves after a while...
I was going to pack his lunch and hugged him, said "I really feel like we can build a great relationship if we want to work on it", he was trying to put on his clothes but hugged back and said "I wouldnt be here if I didn't want to be"....I left, went to work....

Got to work, saw H in parking lot, he waved at me, happily it seemed, but it's 10 AM and I havent gotten an email.
He was wearing his wedding ring when I left this AM....

Help me figure this out....has this happened to the rest of you? WHAT do I do now? all I can come up with is "act as if", "do a 180", do more of what works....if this wasnt going on, I would be really going "gung ho" at spicing things up (with caution to give him the breathing room he needs) in an effort to build a new and better R/M....I've held back from that because he needed to make a committment for that to be appropriate, so doing it ("ging for it" would be something of a 180, and I THINK that is "what works" for the most part....but, What do I do now.....I'm so overwhelmed and confused again. This stuff never gets any easier. Lord I wish SHE would find another job....maybe she will...

I don't know, it's so hard not to feel hurt, this is the guy who was kissing my hand and telling me he was looking forward to 25 more good years 10 days ago, and now he's obviously having 2nd thoughts..........

been around awhile!