thanks Debra, this helps a lot....frankly I've been surprised how open H has become all at once, and my hope is that since I've been able to be calm and supportive he will be able to turn to me more and more... Yes, I do need to turn him towards our S, who has suffered more than his dad cares to admit. thankfully, H is beginning to work on that reconnection on his own, but I think he's so overwhelmed with grief and guilt right now that he doesnt himself know which end is up. I know he feels guilt also for the torment he's caused for both S and D....the guy is just now starting to sleep, I realize now he hasnt slept for months.
One thing that has shocked me is that as H has began to share his turmoil and upset and how awful things were w/OW (isnt that amazing?) I actually find myself feeling kind of angry w/her for hurting H so badly. Now is that totally irrational or what? I mean if she hadnt done what she did, we would probably have never had a chance, so I should be grateful. And H is certainly no innocent bystander, he should have known better. but I find my heart wanting to rush to his defense. So weird. maybe that is love, I don't know...beats me.
