So much happened this weekend, it is just all kind of mushed together, I'm not sure I can even put all the events in order, but there were somethings that I need to journal to keep track of, and I'm kind of worried about what OW might do.....I think she's being really weird....I just saw her drive by coming in to work at 10....who knows what's going on? I also have fears, still, that H might go back. I need to find a way to help him stay away from her....I guess it's really time now for me to start that affair!
I'll start back with Friday....when I posted Friday AM, I knew there was something H had said I forgot to record....now I recall....in our discussion that morning H made the comment that he didn't like the person he was becoming when he was with her, that he was becoming mean and nasty and always looking for a fight, just because he was around that so much....very interesting comment to me, because all I heard about when I found out about the A was what a "happy, spunky, easy-going person, spontaneous" person she was....and it makes me wonder if this whole mess was starting soon after she started to work here ( I had thought it started when she'd been here about 6 months) because I can put my finger on that exact month as being the time when my H became REALLY moody and hateful....even my brother asked once..."what's wrong with ...., he acts like he has PMS!" Anyway, I guess that's a good thing, that he admits he saw that....
Friday afternoon about 4, I went to the store to buy a window ac for our bedroom, it was so hot in our 2nd floor it was unlivable w/ the central air off....as I started to go, H said "don't be gone long"...took me about an hour, we installed it and I was working on cleaning in our room when H came in about 7 pm, had that "hit by a truck" look on his face, and said "I really need you right now"....I said sure, how can I help, if you want me to I would love to snuggle up and hold you"....H started crying and said "yes, I would really like that"....so we just laid on the bed, I held him while he cried and talked for 2 and 1/2 hours....luckily S and 2 friends were playing video games the whole time....but H was just brokenhearted, overwhelmed with grief and guilt....he started to tell me all kinds of stuff....I found out I was exactly right about her...I had her pegged right on the money...except I didnt even realize how mean and dumb she is.... H told me at that time that she became very demanding, especially at the end, that she always insisted he be somewhere at exactly a certain time, etc. ( ick, he has been going to see her on weekends when he said he was going to work)...that she was absolutely hateful to him, that he even told her once that he thought he'd had a$$ chewings before but knew now he'd never had a real one until he met her. He said she had really wanted him, especially at first when she was so much "in love" with him, but that he came to realize that there was always a condition attached....that recently she was really upset with him over something and pitching a fit and he told her "Deb wouldn't be treating me like that, she takes care of me" and she said "well then that's where the hell you need to be" and he said "you're right"....and the rest is history. Evidently SHE told him I didn't love him, that I only wanted him for his paycheck (so that's where that came from last fall!)....yeah right, that's why we've been together so many years, why we scraped and scrimped to put him through grad school when we didn't know if there was any light at the end of the tunnel....but he told her "no, I'm sure she loves me" and that made her mad... H said OW could sure put a guilt trip on....he never suggested she move out of town, and now she's blaming it all on him, and she can hardly make her property tax payments and summer is really bad because she doesnt get child support because her D is with her dad for the summer. H said he's given her $10 several times lately because she hadn't eaten for days. I didn't say anything, but I think that's a guilt trip....she has a mother and 2 sisters here in this town....Also, I'm guessing H gave her several hundred $$ recently. I know he had that much cash when we were at D's wedding, and then he was needing to cash a check for more a couple days after we got home, which was weird, he doesnt spend it that fast... H said that OW is a youngest, grew up in the military do has never lived any place more than a couple of years, and doesnt comprehend the stability that comes from long relationships. OW has a lot of animosity towards males because of so many bad experiences, but he doesnt see how anyone can stay with her long because of her temper and demanding personality. OW's husband had an affair and married his OW, and of course that didn't help.
H feels sorry for her D and worries about the child....she is 10, younger than S (thought they were the same age) and is starved for attention, is all alone in another town for 3 - 4 hours after school, broke her arm while she was home alone, H said it just makes him so sad and there is no way he would ever have that for our kids.... H said OW sees our life as affluent (that shocked me) because she has never had anything.... So this was all Friday evening....
