Thank you Debra, I'm going to print this off....there is so much helpful insight in your post. I have thought about the gifts being a possible source of pressure, so intend to keep it "occassional"...I thought maybe once every 3 weeks or so.... I need to consider how to ask him about the reassurance. I feel like she must have been the one to give the final boot to their R, although I feel like H was close to it for a long time, but still I do think she's the one who said "enough".... H was so grief stricken over the weekend, and part of it is from what he's done to us, and I think being greatful that I didn't throw in the towel....On the one hand that makes me think he is genuinely committed to US....but still I know it's hard for him to give her up. I am so thankful we have vacation coming up. You are absolutely right that I'm ready to charge ahead, and having to hold back still waiting for him is tough.
I think I'm going to take sick leave this afternoon, I have a terrific headache, and I need a little time to process all this when H and S aren't at home.
