Quote: I guess I'm just still so gun shy from all the lying, it has hurt so bad, and I think he's probably been still going to see her for the last 2 0r 3 months
I know the feeling exactly. In all honesty, I never started to heal from H's PA until he got layed off (= made up story to fire him) from that bar. Until I truly knew she was gone, and neither one of us would ever see her again. One day at a time, the pain won't just all vanish, but it will get a little better with each passing day. I promise.
One thing that helped me was that I decided I wasn't going to let what some stupid, manipulative woman did interfere in my life. I wasn't going to let her win, let her bust up my M. Maybe not the best of attitudes...LOL...but it helped me through the first few weeks, when it was really the worst.
Something else that will help you--start to make new, fresh, good memories with H. If he's a little cranky, it's okay, he's hurting too. But try to build a "new" life with your H. Another thing that has helped me...I consider our "old" M/R to be gone. Now H and I have a new one! Sure, it's the same guy. But this is a different R now, and so all the old baggage is out the window.
I actually, on my worst days, mentally pack a suitcase (stuffing in the cartoonish limp body of a certain woman I hate...kind of comical, actually, with and arm an a leg sticking out... ) and then throw it off a cliff. Sort of something more solid in my mind to demonstrate "getting rid of old baggage."
I've read that letting go of the anger for the other person can be helpful--clearly I haven't. Maybe, in time. I think six months is still too fresh for me.
Hope some of this helps! I know exactly how you feel.
But this is a different R now, and so all the old baggage is out the window. 
) and then throw it off a cliff. Sort of something more solid in my mind to demonstrate "getting rid of old baggage." 
