thanks Nevanna, this helps a lot, and long is always good in my book.....I just really got "hit" with this all over lunch, but in a good way...I still can't believe my H is back....there were terrible dark days when I would come across OW's flowery mushy emails to him, and just die, thinking it was all over but the crying, and that if I had any sense I would throw in the towel to save myself more grief and pain..... I'm not really feeling anger or hurt right now, I think maybe I have already struggled through all of that...maybe, maybe not, but I sure wadded through a quagmire of it.... what I'm feeling right now is shock that we finally reached this point, and shock and awe and wonder and thankfulness that the love of my life evidently came to his senses enough to recognize that have had something special and wonderful all these years, that we had let it get dusty and even rusty, but all it ever needed was a good cleaning and polishing.
I think in the back of my mind is a tiny gnawing fear that he will still turn and go back, but he is in so much pain, and sounds so "final" when he says "she doesnt want to hear from me", that I think he must be certain. Also, in January, when we had a big fight/discussion, H told me that if he recommitted, I would be able to count on him ( I told him he needed to be sure because I couldnt go through this again)....
I guess as the dust in my head begins to settle, I start to feel incredibly excited...How awesome! we get the chance to build a new and better marriage instead of being stuck in the miserable rut we were in. And I am keenly aware of how much I love this guy...... It truely is a miracle. Maybe I should write a thank-you note to OW....although I'm not sure she would take it well...
