Hi Deb, I have read through your thread very quickly. I posted on this BB a lot up through (I think) last spring. My most recent thread (last spring) was called "Friendship Saga Continues". I have tried repeatedly to paste that URL here and for whatever reason, am not successful. If you click on my user name totallyconfused, you should be able to find that thread ... if your interested in reading any of it. I warn you it might be tedious, 'cause I definitely did my share of ranting, raving, tantruming and crying.
I wanted to post to you though, 'cause I'm thinking that there are some similarities. I have definitely "morphed" into something better than I had been. H is commenting on it ALL of the time now. In the past month ... his compliments have almost been too much. Sometimes I don't know how to act/respond to all of his attentions! I'm not complaining mind you ... just kind of still in the "in awe" stage and his total turn around! He now all of a sudden concerned about me talking to other men, other men looking at me, wondering if I am attracted to other men , etc... etc.. etc..
It took what I felt/thought was a long time. But I'm thinking that maybe he has finally come around. I am trying not to get my hopes up too much, as time will tell that...but I am really enjoying it for the time being.
What preceded my H's "turn around"? Most recently it was a trip I took to Cancun with my D18. She just graduated high school and that was our gift to her. I took her and a one of her friends along. I/we had a great time and did not hide it! My H has questioned me a lot about the trip .. wondering who I "hung out" with, who I met, ... on and on and on. He is still questioning me and its been almost two months since we've been back. Also .. just recently, there was a mutual friend that neither H or I had seen for quite a while. When walking into the local "watering hole" H and I frequent, this guy was there...walked over to me, gave me a big hug and (apparently ... from what H said) really gave me the once over .. so much that H thought that I must have been leading this guy on! (I don't see this guy, only when I am with H! LOL!)
I'm trying to keep this short and sweet, 'cause I tend to be long-winded...errr long worded..whatever! In my opinion, I want to tell you I think you're doing awesome! Continue with all of your wonderful goals. I'm not sure if these next couple of suggestions were in there, so if they are... just take it as affirmation that it does indeed work. Make sure you purchase a lot of new sexy lingerie, sexy tops and snug fitting jeans (things you think he will like.) This was so unlike conservative totallyconfused (me) that my H began questioning me on THAT also! Since last winter I really do have a total new look ... I love it, he loves it and I still am getting compliments. Oh...and just so you know, it took a long time for my H to mention to me that he noticed all of my great improvements. So be patient! I'm wondering if you need to add a little mystique, though? I mean continue to be positive/affirming to him, but maybe not so "available" all of the time? Is it possible that you go out with the girls occasionally? Or just plain out ... without really telling him where your going? You mentioned (I think) that he has "unexplained" OW time .. why not take that time to get dressed to the nines and spend time at your local bookstore or meet a girlfriend for lunch/dinner etc? As much as you might be worried about how he would respond to that, I'm here to tell you that it does work! Of course you know your H best and need to determine just how far you can and/or need to take this. A little wondering certainly can't hurt ... we are doing/have done enough of it ourselves, haven't we?
