Here's what happened. Short version to get you there, and then a great love story to finish up.
H had EA and in Feb, told me it was "just friends" and he would stop seeing her.
March came - he was still seeing her, but promised he had "just" ended it.
Sometime later, forgetting the date/month because I stopped journaling, but he had been sucked back in and was talking to her. Luckily, they have never met outside of work and nothing physical, so I was very lucky.
On Tuesday, I found out that she was still calling him. I blew my stack. I told him I was going to check cell phone records. He said he had an issue with that, and we would talk tonight. I told him "no, I will take that to mean you are still seeing her and therefore I will pack my bags." He begged me to wait. Finally, I told him I was going to call her. He told me to go ahead, but please don't leave until we talk.
I called her. She began by saying "we are just friends, nothing more. He respects me and I respect him and that's all." Then, something in her changed. She started telling me that he didn't love me, loved her, would never love me again, he was going to marry her, etc. etc. Well, around about the part where she gave me advice to "stop hitting him and being mean to him and always looking for fault with him" I realized that she was lying. She didn't know anything about me, or my marriage, which was consistent with what my H told me - that he never talked about me. She was desperately reaching for straws and trying to scare me off so I would leave him for her.
I was angry, and I said thanks and hung up.
Well, I talked to H and he asked me if I believed her and I told him no. He was relieved. I'm not dumb, and one thing my H can't do is lie to me. I would have known - I have always known much of what was happening with him. I never needed to snoop.
Well, Wednesday morning I printed out D papers and filled them out. He begged to see me at lunch. He held my hand - something he hasn't done for so long. A year, excepting the one time recently he did it to appease me. He told me he loved me. I told him he had a week, and I was filing. He cried.
Wednesday evening is date night. He begged me to go on a date, I wanted to go to a hotel. Decided to give him a chance. He told me he was completely in love with me again. Kissed me passionately, lots of ILY, lots of hand holding, twirling me around, calling me old pet names.
Do I think he was scared into it? Yup, sure do. But, I also think it was sincere. He was beginning to reconnect to me, telling me more and more (if 3 times is "more") that he loved me just prior to this blow up. So, I think that being able to recognize that he loves me still helped this big blow up to turn in my favor where he was scared enough to come out of his (possibly MLC) brain fog and try to win me back.
It's only been a few days, but I feel he is more in love with me than he was on his wedding day. Yes, I know he can rebound. He is ignoring her calls, telling me when she calls, giving me the details. He changed his cell phone number, and has told me everything about her, answering all my questions honestly. He thinks back on it and says he is disgusted by his behavior and her. He kept going back to her because he would break it off and she would start crying. I know my H can't stand to see a woman cry.
Anyway, he used to bring me a rose every Thursday. Well, it was 8/25/03 when he told me he didn't know how he felt about me anymore. It was 8/26/04 - a year and a day later, when he showed up after work with not one, not a dozen, but 53 roses. Fifty-two to make up for the past year, and one for yesterday.
I love this man. I know I need to take it slow, but I really feel in my heart this is it, he is back and we now can do the hard work of keeping our marriage alive. The good thing, I think, is that he and I were working on the marriage since Feb, so we pretty much have fixed what was wrong already, and now we can reap what we sowed over these past few months. Now that she is 100% out of the picture, we can finally reconnect and love each other.
You guys, he is holding my hand, ML with such passion, kissing me, holding me, doesn't want to let me go. I love this man. He is talking about getting remarried, although he agrees that we should wait until next year, just to be safe. And he agrees that if this ever happens again, he will be educated enough to fight off the temptation. Plus, he promises he will never forget the lessons he has learned.
He is talking about us having a baby. I am so happy. I know, don't worry, we will take it slow. But it just feels so very good.
