That had to have been frustrating and disappointing. It's hard when you look forward to something special and have it unexpectedly change at the last minute.
Quote: Why is it always Wed that this happens?
I can never figure that one out either...something amiss in the cosmos?
I'm curious Rottz, I can't remember from back in your sitch, did your H have starts and stops in giving up OW, or was it "clean and quick" (ha, is there such a thing?)? I hope you don't mind my asking, was just trying to remember and couldnt....
Well, Mon is "father-son" night, and also my night for "just me." Wed is supposed to be "date night" for H and I to reconnect and have fun time together. Yes, frustrating.
Deb, H and I talked Feb 14 about stuff I found while snooping. He denied anything going on. Told me he bought jewelry for "just friends" and that there were two of them. I also found a note saying "each day I want you more." He said it was from a girl he was flirting with and that he would back off. Turns out he lied, both necklaces were for same girl, which was the same one who wrote the note.
March came, and I asked if he had backed off. He said he hadn't spoken to her.
Well, March 15 came, and "out of the blue" she called. I overheard the phone call, and he broke it off the very next day for good. He swore (then) that he hadn't talked to her and expected her to just let it drop. I asked him if he thought a girl he had bought diamonds for and told ILY to would just let him stop talking to her and not try to find out what happened.
This woman has four kids, three here, one "back home", lives with her XH, and knows that my H is married with 3 kids (my stepkids) and still pursued him. She also seems to make it a habit of having affairs at work, with M men. I want to tell H what I think of that and of her, but I figure I can get that off my chest in the future when he is not having any more feelings for her. Right now, I keep my mouth zipped and just validate. It's hard.
Now, is that all there is to the story? I don't know. It's entirely possible he was trying to figure out a way to break it off since Feb. My H doesn't like to hurt people, and this girl got one guy fired at work already, so it's possible he was frightened of her retaliating. So, whether he was having feelings for her and going back and forth in his mind about leaving her or not, I don't know. All I know is that once I had hard evidence that he could not possibly deny or lie about, he came clean and broke it off for good.
He says she was very hurt. I told him sorry about that. Really, though, why would I be? This witch knew what she was getting herself into. Would I feel sorry for the burgular who comes into my home to steal my stuff just because I left my door unlocked? I don't think so. She had no right and one day - I can't wait for that day - I will tell him how I really feel. For now, I try to be understanding and nice and think - hey, my H is a pretty wonderful guy, and I wouldn't want to lose him like she did, and draw from that. Like an actress, it's my motivation for feeling sorry for her.
Really, she never got him in bed, so I would (in my deepest, darkest fantasies) like to just go up to her and say "in your face, sweetheart! You couldn't close the deal! How do you feel? Ha ha!"
Now, one of my greatest fears is that he will come forward one day and tell me that he did have a PA with her but was too chicken to tell me. Then, the scrap I was holding onto will be a moot point, right?
Hey guys, this weekend I will attempt through subterfuge to try to get H to remove the globe OW gave him from the livingroom.
We are having friends come over Saturday and have to clean house. I told H the livingroom is his to clean, and plan to ask him to thoroughly dust the table.
You all, please say a prayer for me that he will decide to remove the globe. I really don't want to sit there seeing it anymore.
Thanks for doing such a great job of journaling here. With my H newly home ( ) I have been lurking and found your thread to be a great resource for me.
Good luck in getting the globe removed. My goal is to ask my H to put his wedding ring back on. He didn't remove it when he left - but many years prior to that. So we shall see - I figured I could tell him that is what he can give me for my birthday next month...
Anyway, I'm going to backtrack and read more of your sitch. Thanks again.
totite
"Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative..."
OK, now I recall, with the mention of the jewelry and 4 kids and other guys a work....wow. how crappy. These OP's can be incredible, huh.
Obviously, you've gotten things turned around so far and so fast, it will be a moot point if he tells you something different in the future, moot in that you two will be so far past it it won't matter. But still, I hear you about having a few choice words you'd like to share!!!!tehehehe!
I don't have much time to post right now. I took off Friday and have to get caught up.
Well, the globe is removed. Just wanted to say that. It's in the trash, along with the scarf. H asked if I wanted it thrown away or in storage, as he liked it. I told him I would buy him one if he wants one so bad, and he and I talked. He actually cried and said again how sorry he is for hurting me and that I don't deserve what he did to me. He said "all I can do is move forward and show you how committed I am to our marriage now." Then, he kissed me "as a sign of his committment to me."
Just a lip kiss, not what I have been waiting for, but it's so nice to have felt his lips on mine for the first time in a year.
) I have been lurking and found your thread to be a great resource for me.