My H never moved out. He almost did at XMas time, but I asked him to stay through the holidays and then it just never came back up. My H and I both make a very good salary together, plus we are landlords. So, yes, I am self sufficient. I am a worker, and always have a million irons in the fire. Part of what came between us was me always having new projects to make money. Bookkeeping business, real estate investing, day trading, my job, etc. etc.
So, money is almost always a sticking point in any relationship. Even when we had lots, we had differences in opinion about how to spend it. Now that I have cut back on my endeavors, we have less money, and now we have differences in opinion about how to spend it. See a trend?
I have been very, very angry, and tried to DB by being pleasant. That's why the fight occured with my H this weekend. I know he wants a motorcycle and I was going to sell my truck to pay for it. I have a BMW and we can't afford three expensive cars AND a motorcycle. I'm a college student also, and had to put classes on hold now that I am not working as much. So, something has to give. I ASSumed H wanted me to sell my truck to buy his motorcycle, and he really didn't want me to because he didn't want the guilt of me driving something I don't really want just to make him happy with yet another toy.
So, holding it in does not work well for me. I am going back to my old ways of discussing everything openly and honestly with H as soon as it comes up. Otherwise the resentment builds.
Mostly, though, no. H and I rarely argue. That's another of our troubles. Because we are so similar, I mean almost cut from the same mold, we have so much in common and I expected him to be EXACTLY like me in every way. Instead of cherishing our differences.
I think a big turning point in our R was when I changed from telling H he had to be like me or else there was something wrong with him. (being able to plan events, vacations, do the bills, etc) I finally realized that hey, our differences make us unique and actually compliment each other. So, we have very many things in common -and some things that aren't, but that fill in the blanks in our R. For instance, H can fix a toilet, and I can budget for our household. Together, we make a great team.
See a trend?
