Quote: The therapist said that as long as he allows the Ex to control his thoughts she's always there in the bedroom with us. He knows that and agrees.
So the problem is that he is still emotionally-fused to the witch. It happens. My MIL is still very emotionally-fused to my FIL even though they've been divorced for 16 years and she's been in a relationship with a wonderful,caring guy for 10 years. If I had the nerve to approach her about it, I would suggest that she read Passionate Marriage to learn about emotional-fusion and how to get over it. Maybe you should insist that your H read the book. It sounds like he needs it more than you.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
