Quote: I think that I get anxious in my M (or when I am close to or "attached" to a man) because I shift not only my focus from myself to him, but b/c I shift the responsibility for my feeling good from myself to him.
The above is so true of me! I think this is why I have such a hard time sometimes when he is spending a lot of time at home, because my focus shifts, and sometimes I don't even realize it. Your ideas are wonderful - I will have to think about the book club idea - it may have to wait until I relocate, but I honestly never thought of starting one on my own! What a cool idea! I guess if my house wouldn't work for the meetings, I could look into other options...
what a cool thought! and what a wonderful, gentle way to remind me that I am only responsible for my feelings...thanks!
A quick weekend update: Friday Night: Had my IC appt, which was wonderful. Talked to H briefly on the phone, but he had a customer come in, so he said I could call back. I cleaned out my car, blew bubbles outside with my S, took the car to the carwash to get it vacuumed, made dinner, read some in my book, worked on homework, and had a wonderful chat with April! (Thanks!) Anyway, I got busy and never called H back. I went to sleep and actually slept pretty well.
Saturday: I slept pretty late - well, sort of slept with S climbing in with me about 7:30 and crawling all over me and the bed for most of the morning, keeping up a running chatter with me, his cars, his stuffed animals, the walls, etc - it was cute but tough to sleep. We dozed on and off.
Then we got up and I wiped down the bathroom and took a shower. I actually curled my hair and did my makeup - I love how girly it makes me feel when I take some extra time with how I look. I called H around 2pm to ask if I could pick up a textbook on my way out of town to visit my mom - he had borrowed it this week. He said sure, then called back a bit later and asked if I wanted to have pizza with him at the shop - I was pretty delighted, but accepted without going "woohoo!" (it was pretty neat to get an invitation like that, though). So we went and had pizza and I played a little Grand Theft Auto - Vice City - I am terrible at it, but had fun. Then H came back to our house to shower and get some clothes - I got lots of hugs and flirting, so that was fun. I drove him back to his place and headed to my mom's to help her do some packing for the big move-out. We mostly socialized, then we had dinner, and just relaxed together. We both got tired around 9pm, so I headed home with S and tucked him into bed shortly after we got there - I did some more homework, ran a bath with some pretty-smelling bath salts, and read some more of my book.
Now I am sitting here updating my weekend on the bb, typing "now I am sitting here..." lol
Karen, seriously - talk about a million dollar idea! Hey, there isn't a group that quite fits my needs, so why not START ONE? Talk about a DUH!!! I will have so much fun on the planning alone of that project!!!
I plan on heading right over to Sage's thread and asking her about "Itchy Butt Syndrome." I have seen it twice now int he last week on the BB, and it is time I knew what it was! Thanks, you guys, Myrrh
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
Sunday I got dressed around 11am, and S and I went grocery shopping. I tried to call H before I left to ask about his plans for the day, but he didn't answer so I left. When I got back, he had called 4 times, and the phone was ringing as I unlocked the door.
He picked up food and came over, letting me know he was going to go back to work from 6-8 to catch some people who wanted piercings - he made about $250 in a couple hours - it makes up for the slow days. Then he came back and we went and I got an iced coffee, and he got food. We went back home and he played with our S until it was time for bed for him, then he played a new computer game he bought for me while I did laundry and cleaned our bedroom. Lots of sweet, lovey, flirtatious behavior all throughout. No when we went to bed, but some wonderful snuggling - he was sick, and that kind of kills his energy for that kind of recreation. He is getting the flu, so he is really achy.
We had a pretty smooth morning, even with S coming in around 8:30 and crawling all over the place. We dropped him off at daycare together and went to our MC appt at 11am - it was hard because the infidelity came up, and so we addressed that (NO FUN!) and I finally feel some closure. She said next week we start on the fun exercises - bonding kind of things.
I've talked to him once today to ask about a scheduling thing - my Mom is completely moved to her new place, and is having a turkey dinner for my brother before he goes off for his two weeks of (Army Reserves) training this Saturday. So that was fine with him, and he let me know he paid the trash bill today through September, so that is taken care of.
I still have quite a bit to do in the end-of-semester crunch for my two classes, so I will be busy tonight - Thursday will be like a celebration dinner, since I will be done! WOOHOO! Regular semester classes are much slower-paced, so they are easier. I am taking a Composition Course and possibly economics - not quite sure yet.
I will update later! This is a night without H, so it can be troublesome, but I thin kI'll get through it. Hugs to all, Myrrh
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
Hi Myrrh, I wish you lived by me! We could do stuff together! I know what you mean about weekends being anxiety provoking. I do have free nights/weekends/long distance on my cell phone, so maybe sometime we could talk.
I also want to re-color my tatoo! take care, Karen812
Karen- I wish you lived here, too! You know, you are free to e-mail me at Myrrh_Reveur@yahoo.com - that's also my YahooID, and I am on and off fairly often - I would love to talk on the phone sometime, especially if we can do it for free!
I have one little update for this evening - I got an invitation in the mail from the OW who was formerly pregnant to a party for my husband's ex-best friend, who she is dating now.
She wrote a personal note inside to all of us, including my S, and put her cell phone number for questions...I can't believe she invited us - I guess maybe her intentions weren't malicious, but she lied about some VERY important things to my husband, and kids were involved. I have barely come to a place where I could forgive my husband, much less her! And I don't think I am EVER going to be required to enjoy her company enough to socialize with her. I told H about the invitation, we exchanged incredulous laughs over it, and I am going to ignore it.
I was completely taken aback. Myrrh
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
Some people are just clueless and tacky and she sounds like one of those people. I think it's terrific that you CHOSE not to lower yourself to her level and just ignore whatever intent is behind the invitation.
That shows a sense of maturity and growth that I'm sure she wouldn't understand.
Let's have a GO YOU!
Hugs,
Bets
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
I drove him back to his place and headed to my mom's to help her do some packing for the big move-out. We mostly socialized, then we had dinner, and just relaxed together. We both got tired around 9pm, so I headed home with S and tucked him into bed shortly after we got there - I did some more homework, ran a bath with some pretty-smelling bath salts, and read some more of my book. 
when we went to bed, but some wonderful snuggling - he was sick, and that kind of kills his energy for that kind of recreation. He is getting the flu, so he is really achy.
