Hi Myrrh, How are you doing today? I'm glad your IC helped you to get unstuck.
What helps you have your sense of inner peace? I think that I get anxious in my M (or when I am close to or "attached" to a man) because I shift not only my focus from myself to him, but b/c I shift the responsibility for my feeling good from myself to him.
It sounds like you are very concerned about his feelings. I've struggled with the "are you hungry? are you tired? is your back sore? does your butt itch?" questions too. Ask Sage about the "Itchy Butt Syndrome" if she hasn't told it to you yet. In my case, the best thing has been to act as if he is fine and like In4Ride said, she goes about doing her own thing either in the house or leaves the house to do something.
How is it going as far as finding other activities to keep you busy? Do your parks ever have night walks for children or that sort of thing? Do you ever have time w/o Rhane in which you can go out and do something? Take dance lessons or join a book club, etc.? Have you thought of starting your own book club? How about this-you invite women and they are welcome to bring their children. Each week, one of the mom's watches the kids in another part of the house while the rest of you talk book.
