Okay - recap of evening - IC managed to get me unstuck. I figured out that the sudden pressure I was feeling to make a decision rightnow was because of a mental "should" I have that says "you must maintain the image of a perfect marriage." Well, being separated doesn't fit that "image" - but who really give's a tiny rat's a** anyway? I don't want a crappy marriage that looks good from the outside!
So we discussed how that derails my sense of inner peace, and also discussed a progressive technique for thought stopping, where whenever a thought comes into my mind that is destructive/negative/distressing, I shout "stop!" That's step one. Step two involves just whispering "stop." Then the third and last step is when you progress to just mentally shouting, "stop." I haven't had to do this yet, because we also discussed a third technique, which involves visualizing my evenings playing out peacefully...visualizing each different peace, and me moving peacefully through my evening activities, even enjoying them.
I also stopped by that used bookstore I have been talking about, and got a couple of light fiction books. Yay! So I plan to make my weekend a healthy mix of work and play, and I plan to thoroughly enjoy it.
Hugs and a good weekend to all, Myrrh
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
