The New Thread...

[Lyrael]

H was all for the nightly phone call idea, so after a bit of a rough night, I was happy when I woke up feeling good.

I had to quickly do a load of laundry and get myself and S ready for a family reunion/picnic thingI had completely forgotten to tell H about! We were actually running late when H showed up unexpectedly and asked if we wanted to go for a ride - he was test-driving a white Mitsubishi 3000GT - he has one he is trying to fix up, and just wanted to see how an all-wheel drive model handled.

I told him we were on our way to a family thing, and extended an invitation - he took us, and along the way we decided we would get some food, and then go cruise a bit in the car while my son was with our relatives. My sister and my cousin ended up coming, and we actually drove around for about a half hour - he brought us back, said goodbye to S, then to me (with a hug), and then said bye to my relatives. He wasn't there very long, but honestly I was completely pleasantly surprised to see him! It was really neat that he wanted to take me for a ride in this really supernice car. So that really made me happy - I didn't expect to see him until tomorrow.

S and I had a wonderful time with the family. I felt pretty sorry for my mom, as my aunt followed her around all day practically begging her to reconsider moving out and leaving my dad - can you say ANTI-DB!!!! Even my elderly great-aunt said something to her, I guess - my dad was really quiet and kind of stayed off by himself. My mom and dad didn't even sit by each other, and my mom is in the family pics, but NOT standing by my dad - it was outrageously awkward and sad - my aunt even asked my mother if she had a new man. My mom said "I WISH I had a new man!" and I kind of think my dad might have overheard that. I felt kind of bad for him. My mom is so okay with this, and he seems sometimes like he doesn't really want it, although he sounded okay when I talked to him last one-on-one about it. I dunno - I am NOT going to interfere in something like that. I have enough on my own plate right now!

Anyway, although I haven't really gotten anything substantial done around the house, I have had an okay day.

*Note: Just tried to call H because I got the results of the test he took Friday - it;s Saturday night, and no one is answering at the shop. This kind of pisses me off for a couple reasons: 1) He took off on a Saturday night, which is supposed to be a big money night for him, and 2) He told me the nightly phone call thing was something he wanted, and he isn't reachable.

This makes me mad, but right now I don't think I am going to do much about it. It just sucks, because I can't even leave a message. I have a couple choices here:
1) Call over and over until I get an answer, then ream Dustin out for being gone on a Saturday, doing fun stuff without me, not spending time with our S when he obviously could have. This is not really a good option for obvious reasons: whiny, controlling, needy, etc.
2) Go to the shop and see if he is there. This is just totally dumb, kind of psycho, and really smacks of stalking to me.
3) Stew about it all night and think about where he might be and who he might be with. (This will make me crazy and will inevitably lead to option one or two).
4) Keep really, really busy and just go on with my night. Recognize that I am feeling afraid and angry, and choose to deal with it on my own, without reacting to it. Realize that the root fear here is that he will disappear for a long time, or that he is cheating. Realize I can't do anything about either one of those things.

I think option 4 is the most healthy - I do wish the fear would go away, though.
Hugs to all,
Myrrh