The New Thread...

[Lyrael]

Okay, I am going to subtly shift my attitude and mindset here.

While I have made some great progress in the area of emotional control, I think I am still coming across as pretty needy to my H, and maybe a little too available. He KNOWS that I will be there for him, and I am really not much of a challenge. I wonder if sometimes this comes across as a lack of self-respect on my part.

Sooo - gonna go back to working on getting a life. One that is going to be worthwhile with or without H, because I am just not in a spot where I can afford to take it for granted that he has made a firm decision to reconcile.

Fridays and Satrudays are my independent days - which I usually spend moping between contacts with H. This is not working for me or my goals! I want to really make an effort, not only to keep busy on those two days, but to really ENJOY them.

So...the plan?
1) I am leaving work a bit early today, and I am going to get groceries before I go pick up S2, because it's just easier to do that without him, honestly.
2) Then I am going to head to the north end of town to visit our used bookstore.
3) I have some videos I need to take back to the video store on the way home.
4) Then I am going to go home and do the housework I need to do tonight, and a load of laundry.
5)Then bedtime and the new books!

Saturday is a bit easier than most because I have a family gathering, so I will be leaving the house at around 11:30 am for that, and so I will have some good, solid social interaction.

Then it's home to do stuff I need to do there, and make dinner for S and I. COPS is on, and some other fun and scandalous shows, so I will watch those, and probably retire with a book. I kinda think I need to stay away from the phone and IMing some, and back off on my H a little - give him some space, you know?

I will report back with results, guys and gals.
Myrrh