The New Thread...

[sage]

Sage-
Hmm. Putting on thoughtful face here - I think this is an issue that requires some delicacy, re: when to ask with Nevanna's suggested format, and when to act as if, and do nothing.
I need to think on this some more.
Myrrh

it's definitely a case of "do what works for you".

In my sitch I've found that questions -- either direct or indirect -- don't work well -- at least not right now. It may be my timing or my approach or a thousand other things but I think my h prefers one of two things:

1. waiting for him to tell me if something's up - creating open space and a positive environment for that to happen

2. my doing small thoughtful things for him to make him more comfortable (since it seems like often he withdraws if he's reacting physically to something). IOW, offering to get him a drink or the heating pad or whatever tends to open him up more than a query if he's ok.

DEFINITELY not a universal truth, though..so try out some stuff!

Sage