Oddly enough, H has mentioned this. He puts it as "you always take it so personally whenever I am grouchy or irritated, and it isn't always about you!" I know it comes from monitoring my abusive father's moods - for my dad, it was necessary to my physical safety and emotional well-being to anticipate and constantly watch his moods.
My mom was prone to depressive episodes...they came and went without warning. As a kid I think I thought that it was my behavior that triggered them either starting or stopping. I became a super-detective of moods!
h used to tell me "it's not always about you" because I ASSumed that every advance or retreat by him was a result of my actions...I still feel challenged by this but have become much better at acting "as if" and NOT asking if he appears withdrawn.
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
