Sage- Thanks for the book suggestion, it sounds like it would be great for me! I am sort of a non-practicing Christian (well, non-practicing in the sense that I don't attend a church right now), but I think the sprititual bent will be no problem for me.
As for the transition to peace, I honestly do find it a little maddening sometimes, because when I am calmer, I don't get as many verbally impassioned declarations from H (that's just not his style). I think it's key for me to recognize that without the chaos, my needs are not going to be met in the same way, so I need to figure out other ways to fill them. If I am not getting attention by starting fights, I have to get used to dealing with my thoughts and emotions - learning how to sit with negative feelings and not demand instant soothing from my H is something I am really working on. It applies especially in the area of trust and fears. I hope that made some sense. I sometimes feel like passion is missing, too, and I am just trying to learn to adjust my viewpoint.
I am definitely going to check out that book.
Hugs from me, Myrrh
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
