An addendum to that: I am also having a hard time because my life is transitioning from one of constant emotional upheaval and recurent crisis to a more quiet, peaceful, and normal one. My IC and I talked about that in my last session - it is uncomfortable to me, not terribly so, but enough to make me a bit on edge.
This is all in addition to the current grief I am going through - apparently I am having some sort of hormonal craziness as well, because I am staying up late and obsessively cleaning. That's VERY out of character for me. Tonight I took apart the fridge and it's shelves, cleaned it out, and scrubbed it down. Last night I rearranged and cleaned out my linen closet, finished cleaning my dining room, and did a bunch of laundry.
It's very weird - good for the house, I suppose, but very weird. It's honestly really hard for me to sleep - I just end up thinking about who this baby would have been, and what I could have done differently to have possibly avoided a miscarriage, etc. Right before bed is the only time those thoughts hit, and last night and tonight, since H has not been here, they hit just a bit harder.
Things are just hard right now. Myrrh
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
