The New Thread...

[Lyrael]

Hee-hee-
yeah, it's fun learning to deal with my already over-the-top emotions in a mature, adult way, and then you add hormones to the mix...kind of an uphill battle sometimes, you know?

As for "being," I am starting a new evening ritual. The stupid old organ was taken off my front porch yesterday (long story on why it was there), so I think every evening after Salmost2 is in bed, I am going to make myself a cup of tea, spray myself with a little bug repellant, and go sit out there with my headphones on, just to soak up some peace and quiet from the outside.

Despite my crazy post, I was really relaxed last night, and H came over (after the Munchkin was already in bed) and brought pizza and a movie. We looked at the materials for his online summer courses, and then after he found out he couldn't log onto the website with the assignments, we went into our room to talk and hang out, and he got his usual head and neck rub. He is really sick (sore throat and cough) again, so I rubbed some Vicks on his chest, and we went to sleep. There was a little snuggling, although I woke up this morning on the other side of the bed with our S draped over my back, fast asleep. It was quiet, and things get quieter between him and I every day.

Sometimes I wonder if the growing peace is going to be what allows our feelings for each other to grow and heal again. I have done a lot of reframing of what's happened to us in these past months, and I think I better understand where I can trust, and where I need to be careful. I don't think infidelity is EVER right, but I understand better why and how it happened. Without that understanding, it just seems like some horrible, firghtening hurricane from above, with no warning, and nothing you can do. And that was truly frightening.

Things improve every day for me and my family - slowly and by degrees. My H and I are building a solid friendship, with occasional romance thrown in, and that is definitely something we can build on.

Hugs,
Myrrh