Good Lord, did someone open a big can of guilt and let it spill all over? If "honesty" was the theme a few weeks back, it can certainly be said that "guilt" is the new one.

Myrrh, did you get pregnant to trap your H? I doubt this. Things happen. I got pregnant with my son on the night my H came to "officially" break it off with me. We parted as friends, never to speak again. (O.K., so we got a little action in before the parting.... ) Anyway, about 8 weeks later I called to speak to him for the first time since he left me that night...to tell him I was pregnant. Do I feel like I trapped him? NO. He needed to know what was going on. It was his choice what to do with it all.
It would be horribly cruel to just "take care" of things and not let him have to make a tough decision.

Myrrh, the only way you can "victimize" your H would be to continue your R as is. You know that you need to change some things. You are doing that. The rest is up to him. Do not doubt his decision making capabilities. He is a big boy.

Settle down! Don't put feelings on your H that he may not have. You know that all of our sitches are different. This isn't a one size fits all. If you feel someone on the BB is a "kindred," I can understand that. But, to decide that your H feels a certain way because someone else's did...well, you're just not being rational.

Wooh. Did that sound harsh? I hope not. I just hate to see you beat yourself up.