The New Thread...

[Lyrael]

Found this on a post by Rottz - I feel like this is how my H sees our R/M, although we didn't get married because I was pregnant, he was going to break things off with me after three months to move to Hawaii, closer to his older son. But the night he was going to tell me, I told him I was pregnant.

Here is Rottz' description of her H's sitch with his XW:

I was in an abusive R and he was in an abusive M. His wife trapped him by getting pregnant, after only dating a few weeks. He asked her to M him and hoped he would learn to love her. So, they never had a real R. She got pregnant once more when he asked for a D four years later. She went on fertility drugs in order to keep him. Three years later, we had become good friends and he asked her for a D.

Why am I telling you this? Because my H is the most amazing father to these kids. But he had to learn it. He resented them (a bit, although he is very ashamed and would never admit it outloud to anyone other than me) for changing his life. He spent 9 years with a bitter, hateful, controlling woman he never loved or had a friendship with because they were born.

So the question is, am I trapping this man because I am pregnant? Should I have considered an abortion to set him free? Is it my job to get a D for him? How can I make sure he isn't forced into another R with me?

Any input is appreciated. I feel like I have victimized my H.

Myrrh