Well, folks - This thread is a VENT, and does not necessarily reflect the ideas of the poster when rational...

Am I allowed to just call a hiatus from H? Right now I just don't seem to be able to deal with him without being emotional, and since I am pretty sure our MC will be completely supportive of him when he finally decides to D me, I think this will probably be the end of stuff.

I JUST CAN'T DO IT. DBing demands a level of perfection and emotional control I am apparently just not strong enough for right now. I understand exactly why my H wants to D me - because I can't stop getting so emotional, being irritable, etc. And much as I try to be this pleasant, nonchalant person, it just isn't working. I screw up all the time. I am in IC, and MC, and I still act like an idiot, and in the meantime he is calm, and happy with his life. He is fine, and will be fine no matter what I do. If I went out and filed for divorce tomorrow, he would be fine with it.

I keep waiting for him to throw up his hands and say - you keep making me frustrated and irritated. I am divorcing you. For real this time.

There's no understanding of me. There's no empathy, and with the DB approach, I am not allowed to ask for any or even wish for any. I can't do this tonight. I just want to hide under my bed.

I am not answering my phone and I am going to bed as soon as Salmost2 does. It's time for today to be over.

Maybe tomorrow will be better.
Myrrh
I am emotionally exhausted, and I just want some time when I don't have to deal with him, but I am so afraid that if I am not constantly available to him, he will disappear. And honestly, if he does that, I guess things weren't meant to be.

One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.