Oh, yeah. Myrrh, I grew up in a family of passionate, opinionated people. People who didn't compete for the megaphone that was supplied with the family package... we all went out and bought bigger, better and louder ones.
And like your H, Mr. Wonderful's family was the complete opposite. I think it's pretty apparent now that he was not allowed to speak out against the dictator, and if he did, consequences were severe.
I know how hard this is. And I know how painful it is when the normally quiet and reserved person starts to speak. I'm really uncomfortable with the things that are finally coming to light on Mr. Wonderful's side. Resentments and bad feelings he's been carrying forward for years. It surprises me every time, and it hurts.
But if you want equality in your marriage, it's going to have to happen some time. Time to put the megaphone away, remove the batteries so when you go grab it again your voice is muted.
If that doesn't work, pretend that you're in a Peanuts cartoon. That all your H hears is amplified nonsense when you speak (I'm gonna have to take that one on myself.)
Have a happy Sunday! Be nice to yourself!
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Betsey 
