Quote: Who knows if I'll get hostility or tears, or something else if this conversation comes up?
Read a little further. You'll discover that this is a typical response to the HD spouse taking a firm stand (my LDH started throwing his clothes in a suitcase). Your task is to learn how to "hold on to yourself" when this inevitable reaction occurs. Doing it in a letter just delays the inevitable, but you're on the right track. Good luck!
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver