Quote Paul92: "Hey, it's really great to be here". That's the first time I've seen someone so happy to be here. Most of us want out! I know what you mean though Paul. The people on this forum actually make progress happen for you because they know what you are going through and will give you useful help. We are all on the same path starting from exactly the same story as yours. There is no overnight cure but with perseverence you will succeed - even if only to make yourself a better person. Do not expect your W to read any of the books. I (and others) have tried and failed. Suggest it once then leave it alone otherwise you are just adding to the "pressure". Identify and fix your problems first - you own them after all. She owns her problems and will have to fix them herself. You cannot fix them for her but by making changes in your own behaviour, stating your position calmly and clearly then having the strength of character to "hold onto yourself" and "self soothe" through the rejections, she will have to change herself in response. It's all in "Passionate Marriage", which is by no means an easy read but well worth it. Read the posts from Tim47, AntlerDave and honeypot for the best PM insights. Good luck. SD
