H sharing this with me was BIG Ellie, you are right he does want me to do things with him EXCEPT he's never come right out and said it. It's all so confusing, he pushes me away yet wants me to come close. Maybe we're dancing to closely...and I expect him to always lead.
I really had to think about doing the treadmill. But, it was one of those times when I NEEDED to be on the treadmill...I mean for MY peace of mind. Otherwise, I would have been "edgy" all day, I know myself well.
Ya gotta remember this is the same guy who didn't come home the night before, who I had no idea when to expect and then to have H demand I get ready NOW or we weren't going. I know, I know...but a little bit of the ME came out.
If I come right out and ask him to do something with me, his automatic response is "no". Actually in thinking about this he did say to me one time that "OW would have had everything planned and taken care of" which was hard to hear. Me thinking "yeah I suppose" she doesn't have any children or other responsibilities either.
Maybe I need to to take the lead, make the arrangements and then ask H on a date or to do something. I know he complained about this prebomb. That he always made the plans.
Quote: What can you do to speak this love language to him and make him feel more wanted?
It's all in the approach I guess and will have to do some pondering...
Do I pass up my family/his family events? Seems like when I have one of these to go to, is when he disappears. How do I do that? I have events, activities throughout the summer that I'd like him to come with me to, but if he says no do I not go? He already told me we weren't going to his company picnic this year, which is fine. I would like to go to mine though.
Thanks Ellie, even though people have been hitting me over the head with this info, and now my H has finally come out and SAID the words, maybe I'm finally getting it.