It is HARD, and I struggle with it too. H is living at home and it's just so very hard some days especially when you put the emotions in there.
Like just now, I spoke with H and he sounded like he wanted to go up North this weekend, with me. Geez...he knows I'm busy, have plans or maybe it was just an excuse to call me. So it's in one ear and out the other.
I was talking about a prescription I had picked up for S last night and he made it sound like they were pills for me. I was on AD's and H knew it, they were more for my anxiety, and I went off them over a month ago. Told H I didn't need them anymore. He needs me, I can be his friend, but that's it for now.
I've spoke with H FOUR times today and missed ONE call from H.
H is looking for me to save him, I can feel it, I can see it, except there's nothing I can do for him at this point. No matter what I say, no matter what I do, H needs to figure this out himself, for himself.
I need to step back and take care of Me. Watch the show from the curb and focus on the Lord.
