Well I found it, HB's post to "Lynn" who asked "Is there any stage where they are more receptive to the playful flirting side?"

Brought it here to share and keep it handy.
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QUOTING HB:
It must be my day to give "teen-ager" advice-maybe I ought to start a column called "HB's Lonely Hearts Club." LOL

Nothing wrong with flirting, and YES, they can and do respond to that, it is not interpreted as pressure.

You can actually do it anytime, and they are most receptive during the stage of Replay-and afterwards.

Have at it, if he doesn't reject you right off-if he does, back off for a time, trying again later. Just don't get angry at him if he doesn't respond to you at first-be patient with him, he won't know why you are doing this, and possibly be suspicious, but be CONSISTENT.

You had to attract him when you dated him, right?

And he is acting like a teen-ager, right? Ok, so put on the persona of a teen for right now, you might find the young lady you lost a long time ago.

I played the "teen-age" games with my husband, and had the MOST fun I ever had with him during that time-I had lost a lot of weight, looked like a teen, so I dressed and acted like one-now, I never lost sight of what my responsibilities were, BUT-you know, I learned in that process, that worrying about things did NO good, so I learned to drop the worry, and just have fun with my husband for quite a while. It helped me, also in the "letting go" process-I learned to look at him differently, and finally become his friend for keeps.

I found out he was seeing me as his "girlfriend" and that went on for, let me see, around six months or so-even after he broke Withdrawal-he didn't exactly see me as his wife again until around four months ago.

Try it, and forget his and your problems for awhile.

You think I'm crazy but I LOVED that time-we enjoyed one another, and he wanted to be close to me I was attracting him to me, like I did BEFORE we married-I still have that personality mixed in with my "adult" persona-never too old to have fun.
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I, moi, have a boyfriend and he's married to ME wooohoooo... ...this IS going to be fun!!

Cathy