Memorial Day,

Yesterday the weather was so junky, again, until mid-afternoon. S and I went grocery shopping, watched Shrek for the second time this weekend and then went to toysrus. S4 has seen Shrek one too many times as he now quoting Shrek "Donkey Two Words- Shut--Up..and the other is Donkey: "I like big butts."

H got home at about the same time S and I got back from the store. I HAVE got to stop letting my ASSumptions get he best of me. I struggled yesterday, again, with was he with OW, will he just go there and not come home till tonight and back and forth, back and forth. S had left two messages for H and I had left one yesterday afternoon, but H NEVER called.

I had bought a foam baseball bat for our S, H and S played outside with it for awhile. S had the bat in the house at one point and slammed it against the cupboards in the kitchen..just because he's a boy and can't help himself. S knew he was in trouble. H just blew and told S to go to his room.

I could tell H was irritated and he shut the TV off, and went into the bedroom, then came into the kitchen and starts putting on his workboots...my first thought that came to mind..he's going to OW's. I asked H where he was going and he said to --town where OW is from. I said why and he said "to keep myself from killing S" and I didn't say anything. H goes out to the garage then comes back in and throws his keys on the counter and then heads to the back garage...to get the lawnmower out. I'm getting the feeling that mowing the lawn is a stress releaser of some sort for H lately that and the fact that with all the rain the grass has been growing like crazy.

At some point we did discuss H's weekend. H SAYS he went by himself, stayed with a co-worker Friday night at his cabin and then at another friend's the rest of the weekend. The one friend is a realtor, a freind of H's brother and I guess a friend of H's now. I believe realtor friend was also contacted when OW was going to sell her house after H moved back home in Janaury.

What amazes me is that H has friends that he can stay with up north H has never mentioned anything about them to me. He has this other life of friends that is new to me. I guess I won't dwell on it too much. H said he's heading back up north this coming weekend to help roof the guys house and that H's brother would go along and H's S20 if he was interested. This is the same H who told me prebomb that he didn't have any friends down here, that his freinds were in his home town.

H was in a flirty, playful mood last night. We did go out for ice cream, H was flirty playful in the restaurant and also in the car. He'll grab under my shirt or unzip my pants when I'm reaching back to get S in his car seat and S thinks he's tickeling me.

Get S into the bathtub and H is laying on the bed and... S4 is in the bathtub singing "I like big butts" it was kind of distracting becuase I kept laughing.

Got S dried off, H and S lay on our bed while I cleaned up kitchen. H and S both fall asleep in the bedroom, I sat and watched TV for a little bit, till I was sure S4 was asleep so that I could move S to his own bed.

H stayed in OUR bed all night! I told H that I missed him and that I was happy he was home. H said why didn't you call me then? I told him that just because I didn't call doesn't mean I didn't miss you. H didn't say anything.

I got up at one point becuase I was going to have a coughing spell and H woke up and asked me where I was going. I told him and went and coughed-I've been having them the last few nights. WE all have this upper-respirtory thing going on. At some point during the night H grabbed my pj bottom and pulled me close.

So even with all my doubts, my nagging feelings throughout the weekend, H came home to me.

Even if he was with OW, my only reason for trying to get it of him, to make him confess, would be to prove that I was RIGHT! In the grand scheme of things, sometimes being right isn't all that important. I remember reading that being right IS the "booby prize" of life, becuase it's all you get.

I did a considerable amount of praying/reading the bible this weekend. I am in awe and amazed at the wonderful things that have been happening in my life lately. I have the Lord to thank!

Cathy