Quote: Lefty, Your h will not crash until he's pretty much done with replay and he hits the real bad depression and withdrawal. He is still very much in the beginning stages of replay, what with his taunting you with talk of you divorcing him and him staying at ow's at times.
Please really read Deb's quote. This is really, really the time when he needs space and to make ALL choices on his own. Too much pressure, especially relationship talks, will send him to the ow and I know you don't want that. I'm also going to disagree with what vinlad has said at this time regarding telling him you love him unconditionally and God's love, etc. If you read in the book Men in Midlife Crisis by Jim Conway, a minister himself, he clearly states that many men during mlc turn their backs on God. IT's unfortunate, but true. There will come a time when you can discuss your faith and what God is doing in your life, but it's too soon to share.
How come I don't feel that H is in the beginning stage of Replay? H has been like this since I met him, so why because he's talking about D, etc. does it mean he's just beginning Replay? He's been drinking/with OW since last January 2003 so was that not the beginning of replay? Was drinking very heavily at that time and up until he oved back home in January was still drinking that much. Now since he's been back home he's slowed down on the drinking, is still in contact with OW. I am seeing small little changes in H, they are noticeable to me, but maybe not when I post. So yes, I believe he is in Replay, but I have hard time believing it's just the beginning of it.
I've been taking my focus off the stages as I realize they are a guide, etc., but that if he's just beginning Replay he could be at it for another year or two? So from January of last year till now, what stage was that if not the beginning of Replay? Cathy
