I guess fair settlement is determined by your state and whether your h wants that...here in texas it is community property so it's 50/50. Well maybe more like 80/20 in favor of the wife.
I don't think there can be an amicable settlement unless you are more than willing to give up nicely whatever he asks for.
Also it depends on what 'type' of attorney you have...mine kept me from getting petty and fighting over the sofa (nice leather one valued at $1000 that my h took, I didn't have any living room furniture!) in exchange for extra curricular school activity monies.
I guess it depends on how dirty h wants to get or how inept your attorney is...it can go either way.
Sorry to not have anything concrete but these situations are anything but predictable!
