I'm thinking you should just be honest and gentle. Treat him with love, kindness and forgiveness - while remaining differentiated, healthy and strong.
You still love this man. You're not here to prove a point.
As far as getting into your R over the phone, your "you can't get rid of me that easily" is a great comeback. If he presses you could tell him that for you it's too important an issue to talk about over the phone.
It sounds like you're doing just fine. I doubt I've told you anything you haven't already thought of.
