How to avoid need for desire?

[TiredJeff]

Okay - I have gotten her to fill out a personal inventory in the His Needs Her Needs book. Sexual fulfillment doesn't rank in her top 5 emotional needs. She knows that it ranks as my greatest emotional need. I think that is the reason why she actually gave me sex on the 4th! She said after that I looked stressed out so she initiated. It wasn't really satisfying - but I did my best to act pleased to reinforce the desired behavior. I know it is good when she is thinking of my needs - but I need to be desired, not given sympathy sex. The only thing worse than sympathy sex (in my mind at least) is obligation sex. However, it is a close call.

Anyway - her ideals are 1)admiration 2)honesty and openess 3)affection 4)family commitment and 5)domestic support

1) I admire her and everything that she does for this family greatly. I must not be expressing it in a way that she understands clearly - mopre work needed here
2) Honesty and Openess is something I need to work on. When ever I open up about my desires and feelings, but especially desires she reacts poorly. I need to find a way to communicate these things in a way that is less upsetting to her. I have always been very straight forward. Tact is not my strongest feature. Working on this too, but kinda feel like a blind man in a noisy room.
3) Affection is something that I am getting better at. I have finally learned the difference between my affection and her affection - Now if only the budget will support her need for affection.
4) Family Commitment is something that I get no complaints about - ever.
5) Domestic support is kinda dicey some times. I am just trying to find the ideal balance betwen her need for the appearance of cleanliness, my idea of cleanliness, her decorating sense(?), and my anal retentive need for organization.

I think things are getting better, but I am still sexually frustrated LOL. However, that may just be my nature!

Jeff