You're right...knowing and understanding are two completely different things. Getting that lightbulb to come on is very difficult. For me..I'm convinced it wouldn't have been possible without counseling. I could have asked the same questions the same way...but he wouldn't have responded the same way to me. No matter what I'd have said he'd have assumed the defensive position...which he did in counseling as well...until key to our problem came flying out of his own mouth before he realized...the anvil on the head followed shortly thereafter :-)
The problem I had as an LD..and I'm sure many LD's (including my LDH) is that you feel attacked. Not physically mind you...and not even mentally...but it feels like a personal attack that someone wants more of you than you think you can give...that means there's something wrong with you....I'm defective? That starts the defensive position of...you're the one with the problem! It did with me anyway. Naturally I had many other problems that contributed to that defensive posture...it was so much easier to think that my H was abnormally HD than I was LD...are you kidding? I'm not perfect?! :-)
