Have my copy of SSM and have read it avidly, then in total despair, then hitting the high lights whenever I need to reaffirm why I am still here. Have my copy of DB too, but since I have always had high desire SSM spoke to me like I was a model for the high desire section of the book! Unfortunately I took the wrong track in trying to interest my W in reading the book. I suggested, placed it in obvious places, then I just begged her to read it. She started reading it too just shut me up. I don't think the she ever finished it because she didn't like the idea of changing. She doesn't think that she should have to change because I made the mistake of meeting my emotional needs without her. You know what that is - the big A - the scarlet letter in a major way. It was a major mistake trying to badger her until she would read the book. I don't believe that she ever read the part about HD spouses, but I know better than to ask!
It is just about to the point where I am thinking that I need to pull out the extra mattress and take the spare bedroom in this house. She thinks that my level of desire is OVER SEXXED, and if I hear "My mother raised me better" one more time I am going to call her mother on the spot and tell her to get out of our bed room.
I have been going through this for 5 years now and am even begginning to investigate herbals to lower my libido! The problem is that the only stuff I have been able to find in my studies really only works well on people with a low level of androgens to begin with. Plus, even if I am able to lower my desire for sex won't I feel empty? Won't I feel like the best part of my life is forever denied to me?
WAIT!!! It already is
We were together for two great years of bliss before we got married - then the axe man lowered his blade. Almost as soon as I put that big rock on her finger her enthusiasm died! What happened and why can I point to this time as a clear defenition of when life started to suck?
I will write more later, but I feel thr typical anger and reesentment building. So, I need to quit before I am a nasty ogre all night long!
Jeff
"As soon as somebody falls in love, all the wits seem to dribble out the bottom of his head." Garion from Castle of Wizardry. And Jeff is obviously in love.
