I'm not sure I've really got an answer for this...but for my LDH...he simply didn't think about sex...until I continued to bring it up. Then he began to dwell on "why don't I think about it?" which only led to preoccupation on the subject, worry and insecurities. He truly had no idea that at one point it had been nearly a year since we last ML. I was climbing the walls and he was going on with life as though everything was completely normal. Then I believe it became an avoidance issue for him...he was ashamed, I believe the thought I saw him as less of a man...I didn't, I viewed it as "our" problem. My natural assumption was to think that he simply didn't find me attractive anymore.
I definitely agree with you on this... "LD spouses are not even remotely close when they estimate frequency" ...if you'd have asked my LDH how long it had been since we last ML hey may have said a month or two (which is still far too long in my book), not even realizing it had been nearly 12 months. He was very surprised in one of our C sessions that I was able to rattle off the exact date of the last time we ML (I keep a calendar too).
BTW I approached him for sex last night...and for once he said he was too tired (he was actually on his way to bed early), but for once not only did he respond with an answer to my request (which he used to just ignore me) but he made an appointment for tonight...I'm thinking this counseling thingie just may be working for him
Keeping my fingers crossed, but trying not to get my hopes up too high
