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Tom, you don't impress me as a lonely, incompetent guy who has to fill the void...


Thank-you, J. But, like the cartoon says, "On the Internet, no one knows you're a dog." (cartoon) I can sniff trees with the best of them.
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I think you are hurting from not feeling loved which makes the sex larger than life. You ( and all of us here)are handling some very painful stuff. That said, I think it's great to have some actitivies for fun, esteem ,soothing, etc. and you are right...they help in differentiation because we become emotionally stronger/calmer when involved in a task.


I brought my own issues into my M. Many of them deal (or don't deal) with insecurity and not just a need to be desired, but a craving. I can talk a good game and sometimes even sound dignified when I have complete control of what I send out. But I HAVE been the puddle of tears gathering around my W's feet.

I'm sure I'm not alone on this board with these issues. Realistically, I need to deal with these before I can effectively affect change in my R. And again, I'm sure it's the same with others on this board.

Tom