J, I agree. I do need H to desire me and it is essential in order for me to stay his healthy and happy wife.
Furthermore, I need to be desired in a way that SPEAKS to me. His brand of desire just doesn't do it for me; it is too timid and noncommital. The difference from the present-day Honey and the Honey of old is that I now see that trying to powerhouse him into being passionate is a dead end road. Trying to force it or ultimatum it aint gonna work. I now see that I have to finesse it out of him, as opposed to either stubbornly sitting back and waiting for it to happen, or demanding in advance that it be there the next time. So I have to walk a fine line...I finesse his desire out of him, without completely taking over the whole operation and allowing him to "borrow" my desire, which is how he prefers it. He wants to make a noncommital move, wait for me to take the reins and when I get turned on, HE gets turned on.
This works for me a lot of the time, but NOT always and this is the big difference between now vs. then, in our M.
He is getting much better with his desire. He did really great this weekend with two things: I had two occasions to go to, without him, and on both I dressed really sexy. He did not make a mention of it (ie, ask me to change or act prudish) and on the second night he was actually very complimentary to me about how I looked! SHOCK. Then yesterday he twice felt me up when I bent over. Now this might seem like small potatoes to the HD men here, but that is a BIG step for my H. I am very proud of him for stepping out of his comfort zone.
Today I am struggling with: A) complimenting him on the step outta the comfort zone; or B) playing it cool and acting as if he does this all the time. Option A will embarrass him but I don't want to not give him the praise and motivation that he might be seeking, you know? I think I'll just play it by ear.
I will close on this note: I can't wait to have this baby so I can have my body back to do with, as I please!!
