Yes, I would also say that a difference in SD was a big part of the reason for my H's affair. I was concentrating on raising children, pregnant or nursing for 8 years and had no urges whatsoever-not even for touching. By the end of the day I'd had children crawling all over me, nursing, whatever, that the last thing I wanted was my H to come home and "grab" me. or ask "are you frisky". Sorry, I now know that turning him down was the same as a slap in the face. I know this because, now since his affair, things have turned around. Not that it was the affair that turned me on, but it sure got my attention. I've also gotten the baby weened, out of the bed, lost my mother, lost some weight, started exercizing, started ovulating again-I hadn't been, and I'm a whole new person that I am really starting to like. H on the other hand, is a little sceptical that the changes are permanent and I feel often that I'm here on a trial basis. How long can she keep up this pace, ya know. So, yes-it has had an effect. And you can turn things around. He is not blameless, cluless, maybe, but not blameless. There were things he could have done to make a difference. We have NEVER taken a honeymoon, or any trip alone since having children. He Never calls the babysitter to arrange a night out. He has been to many places now with OW that I can never go without thinking of how, if he would have done those things with me, maybe this would never have happened. I am not blameless either, but also clueless about a lot of things. Momma never told me....so, there you go.
Each experience in life has formed me, become part of me, made me stronger.
