Congrats on the thread! You have attrated some really great people here already.
I was reading your final post and this jumped out at me....
Quote: Only he knows and he is not telling.
I wouldn't be too sure about this. It is quite possible that he, in fact, DOES NOT know. I think it would be dangerous to question him about it. Here's why...
When my H bombed me he kept saying things like, "I don't know what I am feeling", "I don't know where these feeling are coming from", etc. I just wish that I would have kept my mouth shut at the time. But NO, the fixer in me suggested all kinds of reasons for his feelings and most of them pointed the blame at me. Dumb. dumb, dumb. He clung to my suggestions like a life raft and I started paying for them immediately.
Now, of course, I understand that he was right...he really did not know what was going on inside him. And I learned too late that it really had nothing to do with me or our marriage.
I just wanted to caution you not to put ideas into his head. If you have individual counseling, why not bring it up to the C. Perhaps she/he can begin to explore this area with the two of you?
I also really like slowly's idea about creating a little mystery.
Good luck to you Debra.
Dawn (So jealous of your dedication to twice/day work outs!)
